Over the years, I've become increasingly annoyed by my fellow audience members. The complete disrespect they have for the people sitting around them and for the performers on stage. I sometimes wonder if they are completely oblivious or if they simply do not care. This year alone, five weeks in, we've experienced some doozies.
First, here's a situation that happened even before the show started. There's a small theater in town that holds maybe 75 people. There are no assigned seats when you buy your ticket. Instead, you pick your seat when you arrive on a first come, first serve basis. Sometimes, there's a standby line for people who want to see that night's performance but the theater staff has to wait to determine if seats appear to be available (because of no-shows) as showtime nears. This particular night, a staff member pointed to a seat to see if it was available and the audience member next to it responded that it was not available; it was for her coat. The staff member offered to hang up the coat for her out in the lobby. The woman said no and produced two ticket stubs for that night's performance to show that she did indeed buy a seat for her coat. The staff member then offered her a refund for the second ticket. The woman refused and demanded to talk to the manager. Now, granted she did appear to have two tickets but to see her flat out refuse to help the staff accommodate people in the standby line was a new level of inconsiderate to me. I have been in the standby line before so I sympathize with people hoping to get a seat. The manager appeared, it's now at least 5 minute after the show was supposed to start, and the woman is beyond agitated. The manager attempted to reason with her but instead the woman stood up, grabbed her coat, and dramatically announced she will never come there again as she stomped out of the theater. Well, at least two standby people were able to enjoy the show that night.
Another day, at a different show at the same theater, someone began digging into the loudest, crinkliest bag possible during a 90 minute, no intermission, one-man show. This was not the mere unwrapping of a single piece of candy and this did not last for just a few seconds. This was a steady, loud noise for the majority of the show. I wish the person making the noise had been sitting in front of me because I would have leaned over and told them to quit it but alas they were at least several rows in front of me. I kept trying to figure out who it was and secretly wishing the people around him/her would say something. I am not the only one. I distinctly heard someone in front of me mutter, "What the hell is that noise? I wish they would cut it out." I was amazed that the actor on stage tuned it out and didn't miss a beat because I was constantly distracted for almost the entire show. When the play was over, I quickly stood up and eyed up my fellow audience members trying to identify the culprit. I felt it was my duty to say something but I did not see anything that looked like it could be the noisy bag in anyone's hand. *Sigh.*
Of course, there's also the ringing cell phone. I don't know how it's still possible for this to happen after all of the reminders to shut off your phone. I usually am at the other extreme - obsessively checking my phone three times and then once more when they do the final announcement because I do not want to be *that* person. I believe it's called dramatic irony when the audience members know something before a character does. There was one night recently when a man's phone rang. His eyes darted from side to side as if looking for who the phone belonged to and then looked shocked that it actually was his. Come on - we could all tell where the noise was coming from, it's not that big of a theater. He proceeded to pretend to mute it but was outed by the distinctive chime of a voicemail being received several seconds later. What a jerk. If I was this man, or anyone whose phone rings during a show, I would be mortified but people seem so indifferent if their all-so-important phone rings. They just don't care that it's rude or it's a distraction.
Just last weekend I experienced an all-new, technology-aided bad behavior. I do not own an Apple Watch but it appears that the screen is dark until the wearer moves his/her arm, at which point the screen activates. Why do I bring this up? Because the woman in front of me at the opera was running her hand through her hair during the performance constantly and every time she moved her arm, a bright white glow lit up the entire row behind her, where I happened to be sitting. This is amazingly distracting when you're trying to concentrate on the action on stage. The rows at this particular venue don't make it easy to lean forward and ask someone to stop. And, of course, we were in another 90 minute, no intermission performance, which I normally prefer but not when there's an annoying audience member that you can't chastise during a break. I lost count of how many times her watch lit up but it was an awful lot. I think she and the crinkly bag person should go to shows together to really annoy everyone in every possible way.
Have I become a cranky middle-aged woman? Maybe. But I won't stop going to live performances and I can't make people be more considerate and less self-absorbed. So, I guess I need to lower my expectations, go to an event assuming *something* will happen, and work on tuning it out like the performers do.
But that's just my view. From the 33rd floor.
